Practice overview


The Responsibility Process shows the ways to switch from the Control Cycle into the Power Cycle.

The Control Cycle is a natural reaction to approaching problem solving. It seeks to solve problems by creating compliance with advice and rules that are developed. It only addresses the anxiety; the underlying problem will not be resolved and the problem will return.

The Power Cycle is the desired path to take when approaching problem solving. It derives power from looking at all possible solutions, gaining clarity of the root cause, and then trusting in the solution (as well as those who will implement it).

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This Practice contains guides and videos that will help you make this shift.


Find the Exit: Coaching Guide

Use the coaching guide below to help others through rejecting the story and finding the exit to their limiting emotions.

While this is one path through a coaching conversation, you should utilize the quesGons and/or techniques that are most appropriate given the situation.

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How can you listen for a story?

Purpose: A coaching conversation should be focused on another individual; utilize active listening techniques when coaching individuals that feel they have ongoing problems or upsets.

  • Concentrate on what the person is telling you – DO NOT multi-task!
  • Respond back and restate what they’re telling you. (Example: “So, if that department didn’t exist, you wouldn’t have a problem?”)
  • Interpret and restate the emotions they are expressing through their words/story. (Example: “When you thought that individual wasn’t going to complete the report, did you feel obligated to get it done?”)

Ask good questions to hear people's stories

Purpose: Discover the story that people are telling themselves so that you can help lead them to rejecting it and operating from Responsibility.

  • “What’s on your mind?”
  • “What do you feel that you need?”
  • “What’s the problem?”

Redirect the individual to find the exit

Purpose: Once you confirm the ‘story’ the person is telling or using to explain their problem/upset, lead them to identifying how to reject it to find resolution.

  • Ask: “Given the situation is what it is, what do you want?”
  • Ask: “What’s the root issue and what’s the resolution?”

What's in it for them?

Purpose: While we need to accept change or simply tolerate it, being able to share what is in it for others is an important step in having them choose to operate from Responsibility.

  • Freedom, Power, Choice
  • Better results – clarity and trust in the solution