Christopher Avery

The Responsibility Process guy, reformed management consultant, author of books on personal and shared leadership, instigator.


Practice overview


Shame - Obligation - Quit Cycle: Listen and Respond

Utilize the Coaching Guide below when working with others. Develop new responses as you become more comfortable and confident.

tag Quitting
tag Responsibility
tag Responsibility Process



Listen for shame and respond

Listen for “That’s all my fault...” and respond with "You’re human – mistakes happen. Now, what do we want about or from this situation?"

Listen for “I’m such a dummy...” and respond with "For how long will you beat yourself up about it? Forgive and move on --what's your next step?"


Listen for obligation and respond

Listen for “I have to do it...” and respond with "Have to? Are you sure? What would get you to “want to”?"

Listen for “If you want something done, and done well, then you have to do it yourself.” and respond with "What would allow you to let it go and turn to more valuable goals?"


Listen for quit and respond

Listen for “I give up.” and respond with "If you do, will you feel complete? Or will there be unresolved residue?"

Listen for "silence" and respond with "How can we continue to work to achieve the results we want and are aiming for?"