We rarely take the chance to tell other people what we think of them. Doing that is usually scary, as everyone who’s had to give feedback (for instance as a boss, in a regular way) can attest… We’re afraid to hurt the other person, and avoiding that we have a hard time getting our improvement suggestions across. We then retreat to being blunt, using the occasion as an excuse to be impolite—and feel bad about it during and after the fact.
This practice includes ways to open an honest conversation about somebody’s performance, and to create a loving frame for the topics you want to talk about. We prefer very appreciative ways to offer another human being options for improvement.